Instant Whips And Dream Toppings

Love this joke - the man and the blonde...

by Jacky Donovan on 02/17/14

A man was in his front garden mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"

National #puzzle day. Love this blonde's jigsaw puzzle #humor #funfact

by Jacky Donovan on 01/29/14

A blonde calls her husband on his cellphone.
Blonde: "I've got a problem!"
Husband: "Tell me."
Blonde: "I've just bought a puzzle, but I can't solve it!"
Husband: "Is it that difficult?"
Blonde: "Yes, I don't know where to start; all pieces look similar!"
Husband: "What's the image on the cover of the box?"
Blonde: "A red cock, but I really can't solve it."
Husband: "Wait a minute; I'll be right there and then we will solve it together!"
...
A few minutes later the husband walks in.
Husband: "And where is this puzzle of yours?"
Blonde: "It's right here on the table..."
Deep silence falls, and then a sigh...
Husband: "Okay, we will do the following: you'll put all cornflakes back into the box and I'll forget the complete incident."

Very funny joke about Germans and kinky sex

by Jacky Donovan on 01/27/14

A German guy approaches a prostitute and says "I vish to buy sex vit you" "OK" says the girl, "I'll charge 100 Euros an hour" "Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky" "No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky" So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs.." The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans and knees." She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath. Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing... what do you call that? "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique!"